Wednesday, 28 April 2010

Do I date to blog, or blog to date?

Being a dating blogger can have its downsides. Namely when you don’t have any dates. And after a few months of being dateless I was starting to get worried – for me having a date every week became as normal as people getting up and going to work. So had I lost my touch or merely just dated all the single men in London?

And when I wasn’t dating it was like everyone was rubbing it in by going on dates instead. Two of my best friends both casually mentioned how they were going on dates and most of my other single friends were being set up around me, chatting up cute bar men or talking about their latest conquest. Even my Mum was on the net setting up dates.

Maybe I was getting too picky or was I just being lazy? I couldn’t be bothered with internet dating – it was just too much effort to email yet another ‘potential’ and rehash the same old details. I had stopped bugging friends to set me up and men on nights out just weren’t blog worthy enough.

So I sighed a breath of fresh air when I finally got a date last week – I was officially back in the game. And I realised I’d actually missed going on first dates. The classic first date nerves, the awkwardness that comes with it, the free drinks (only kidding…well kind of!) - I had missed the whole shebang of it. So much so that when a friend of mine told me she had a first date planned I almost turned up in her place. Don’t worry I didn’t!

And when potential dates find out you’re a dating blogger it can have its downsides too. Google is great but I merely have to mention my name and men know about my dating history before I’ve even sipped on my first glass of wine with them. The first date to uncover my little secret pretended for all of ten minutes that I wasn’t a dating blogger while I reeled off all the other work I did. Of course I tried to deny it, but when he claimed he knew where my last date had taken place he had either been stalking me in person or on the net – and I was hoping it was the latter.

And another date, who knew about my blog, told me he had read it in detail, written down notes and thought he was fully prepared to see me. I wondered if he was expecting me to give him a pub-style quiz at the end or hand out tasks throughout. He was dating me, not appearing on mastermind.

So if potential dates know about my dating past and trip-ups, will it put them off? I’ve had guys running for the hills when they’ve found out they may appear on the net. Even when I’ve clarified that I only write a dating blog. So after my dating drought I wasn’t surprised when my recent date, after stumbling across my blog, emailed me to let me know I wasn’t quite the right ‘dating material’ for him. Maybe if I hadn’t revealed his toilet habits in a previous blog we’d be married by now. Damn.

But if the tables were turned then I admit I may be a little reluctant go on a date too - especially if I knew he’d be analyzing my every move. If I drunk too many vino’s would I be an alcoholic? If I didn’t make him laugh would I be known as the moody cow he’d been lumbered with for the entire night?? Or worse - would I be classed as a no-go cougar or the girl who he officially went on his worst date with?

I suppose there’s always a downside to everything. But in my bid to get more dates I suppose I’m going to have to stop being so lazy, picky and possibly googleable. And as for blogging about the dates I go on – well that’s not stopping, for at least a while yet. Maybe I’ll just have to change my tack. My dating ad will have to say in big red letters - Please apply within – dates who have a GSOH.


  1. That's why I keep my blog semi-anonymous. It's not them finding my blog before the date I'm worried about - it's them finding it after. I had one girl threaten to sue me for libel after she stumbled across one post. Thankfully I did a law degree and knew she didn't have a leg to stand on.
    *Plentymorefishoutofwater - One Man's Dating Diary*

  2. I love that your mum is online dating! Do you actually get any (resonably) normal guys online?

  3. Gosh hopefully I wont get any law suits coming my way!

    I know my Mum is funny!Some are quite decent - but my Mum did have one guy tell her he was in love after the first date - scary!!

  4. To be honest I think its incredibly unfair of Mr Last Date to have said that. You respect ur date's anonymity to a certain extent, and I feel its reasonable. Besides, I dont feel your overtly critical either, and I dont know about you, but Im sure if one can dish it, then they can also cop it (I hope ur that way!), so I think it may have been a bit brash of him to back off like that.

    Good luck on your search. You're a beautiful, intelligent woman, you'll be right :)

  5. I think having a dating blog is the perfect excuse to go to all possible - lame - dates you can get... it's all for the sake of the blog!
    I once attended a sales course and the conclusion was, the bigger your prospect's list is, the greater the chances of getting clients. Not sure the speaker expected his lecture to be used on international dating though...
    And brave - well, maybe borderline weird-brave - of the guys admitting having googled you... isn't that against their secret society code or something?!?

  6. Hi sweetie, I keep hearing of more and more mums internet dating, it must be the way to go!I have tagged you over on My Passport to Style, to play a game, I do hope you will join in the fun! Sharon (UK) XX

  7. You love first dates??? Not so sure... Got a potential first date coming up with another blogger - no picture of either of us being shared! Going to be interesting and shared on both our blogs

  8. Oh that sounds interesting....let me know how it goes!

  9. I can relate to this. And don't you find that you actually enjoy it when things go a bit wrong because then at least you'll have good blog material/a good story for your friends?

    The more I continue on my quest for happiness the more I realise that being happy just isn't funny.

    Being funny is all I've had going for me for the last 26 years. Will I have to give it up to live happily ever after? It's almost like losing my super powers. If being slightly tragic was a super power that is.




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