Sunday, 26 September 2010

Men I really wish I hadn’t snogged....

I must just love embarrassing myself, because when it comes to men I’m always getting myself into sticky situations. Yep I’m the girl who would attempt to snog her male friend while drunk, who can’t visit some of her local pubs because, well, ‘he’ works there and goes bright red every time her friend mentions 'that' work colleague. I do stuff without thinking and have to deal with the consequences later – usually ending with awkward moments, silences and wishing I really hadn’t gone there.

Honestly, if there was a prize for the ‘biggest date fuck ups’ I’d probably be the esteemed winner. I just can’t seem to help myself. If I actually worked in an office I would probably be ‘that’ girl who everyone talked about. The girl that made a tit out of herself at the Christmas party - snogged the geeky virgin and made photocopies of things she shouldn’t have.

Maybe I feel like I’m missing out somehow, so to almost make up for it the stupidity has crept into my dating life. In the last few months not only have I chatted up a famous singers fiancé, scared a guy off by kiss and telling about our date via twitter, but also chased men that really just weren’t that into me.

And when it comes to picking the wrong men I would definitely get an A* for effort. At the time you think he's a great idea – he’s hot, you’ve had some liquid confidence and the next thing you know you’re snogging like there’s no tomorrow – in front of everyone. Except there is a tomorrow and you’d forgotten that everyone was there, until that is you turn up at (delete as appropriate) work/gym class/friends house.

You know how people say: ‘oh she’ll learn,’ – well they obviously weren’t referring to me. In my brief dating life I’ve dated or snogged a collection of unsuitable men, including two bosses, a guy that worked at my gym, an array of bar men and way too many friends of friends. And I know that if I met a hot guy tomorrow, who happened to be my best friend's brother, worked at my local pub and hung out at my gym I wouldn’t think twice about chatting him up!

And if only to prove this point last weekend I decided to chat up an instructor for a fitness class I go to. At no point did I stop and think ‘Oh this might be slightly awkward next time I go to class.’ Nope, I just carried on my merry way, accepting more booze from him while I fought off other girls for his attention. Of course the evening ended in a very drunken snog. But when I woke up the next day and sense returned I seriously wondered if cancelling my membership was a good idea!

Looking back maybe I was doomed from the start! When I was a mere 18 years old I drunkenly snogged a guy, but not any guy – he was my university flat mate, and it was ONLY the first night of fresher’s week! I was so embarrassed about it I could barely make it out of my room without going a ‘London bus’ shade of red and our other flat mates teasing me about how I wanted to be his girlfriend. The teasing and embarrassment probably would have lasted all year if I hadn’t managed to win him over as my boyfriend.

You’d think that cringe worthy moment would have taught me to watch what I drink and only approach men who had no connection to anything remotely fitness, work or friend orientated – but no - I’m obviously the kind of girl who has to learn by her mistakes – ALL of them.

So I was obviously just learning when I decided that dating my boss last year was a good idea. That awkward moment - when I had to see him at work, knowing that just two weeks previously he had told me, in a ‘he’s just not that into me’ moment, that he was just too busy to see me – was just a test of my character, huh?

And you think after one awful incident with a local bar man I would have thought twice about dating another one. But I just couldn’t help myself – his blonde hair and baby blue eyes just won me over. It’s a shame then that date number two never materialised. I now have to avoid both bars like the plague, much to the annoyance of my friends.

Maybe I’m just never really going to learn – even if my friends do ever so kindly try and physically drag me away from my latest victim! After all I’m sure it’s not just me who can’t visit her local pub anymore and has to be cautious every time she so much as pops her head into the gym......oh it is? DAMN!


  1. Hi there,

    I'm a first time commenter but I've enjoyed your blog for some time. I am curious if you know that those guys probably felt deeply embarrassed too. Depending on the situation; for instance, your boss would probably feel like he's breaking an ethical boundary in dating/snogging an employee, or the Gym instructor probably is feeling a bit guilty or awkward about getting lucky with one of his students.

    Guilt means you have a conscience about it. If they don't feel weird about it then you are dating the wrong men for one more reason. I think you can share the shame; it takes two to tango!

    Kind regards!

  2. Hi!

    first time commenting but this post hit a nerve. Especially when it came to local pubs and bar man! Gosh... I have a similar situation! And I still go there... just avoid looking him in the eyes! And I really like him... since it was not just one date.. :P

    I couldn't agree more with Conatu's comment!

    So.. be brave and enter that ub again!


    ps.hope we haven't kissed the same bar man! LoL

  3. Great! My mistakes I'd rather forget is consistently hitting on gay men! now THAT'S awkward when their boyfriend comes over.... But more often than not, all I can do is hold my head high after mistakes and come across as aloof and mysterious... sunglasses and a head scarf usually help.
    love, london girl up north

  4. really good read! :-)

  5. What a wonderful brightener to my day. This weekend has been full of male-related dramas and it's nice to know I'm not the only one running out of bars when seeing certain people that MUST be avoided and no-one else knows why (until I enlighten them and they roll about on the floor in fits of laughter).
    Thanks for sharing xx

  6. As gross as the adage is...I've always stuck by "don't shit where you eat" and I'm just sayin'...this lovely post of yours makes me glad I have :) But think of it like this...worst case scenario...those bad decisions offer up a lifetime of stories, blogging and wisdom to share :)

  7. Come and give me a (virtual) kiss any time you like... and there's no embarrassment: far from it. One kiss from you could save a life!

  8. One of them might work out... I'm always the optimist here! But yes encountering them in everyday situations is no fun. It wasn't a snog but I recently got asked out by a guy who has an office near mine and goes to the same place for lunch... nothing happened and I'm still embarrassed to see him! I can't understand why I should blush because I turned him down but that's the way it goes I guess! ;)

  9. I know where you're coming from. This made me laugh for all the right reasons and for the simple fact of I'm glad I'm not's nice to know other people make the same mistakes as I have! Very funny. Thanks.
    Luna Loves...



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